you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
