is your mom at the bar?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
