i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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