I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
