Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
