R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
