so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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