At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
