i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
