I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
