I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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