At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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