Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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