Got a toothbrush?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
