I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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