they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
