The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
