I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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