Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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