If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
