Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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