this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
