He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
