she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
