Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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