i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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