Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
