This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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