It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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