I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
