You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
