I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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