My room smells like vodka and shame
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
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July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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