My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
