O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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