ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I don't deserve a penis
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
