Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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