Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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