so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
