Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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