I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
