i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
