how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
