he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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