so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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