I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
