Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
