our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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