They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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