This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
