I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
