quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
