she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
