it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
