meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
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I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
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Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize