I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
