I can tuck mytits in my pants
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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