mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
