obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My balls are so social today.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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