Its about making memories worth repressing
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
