hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
