11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
