She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
