What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
