Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
